Blagging Burnham

This year's go at Burnham Triathlon in two weeks' time is going to be a spectacular ass-pull.  I haven't run since winter, haven't swum all year, and all my cycling has been of an entirely different character (super low effort, super long duration); my high-effort cardio fitness is somewhere back with the autumn leaves, I think.  The Auld Knee is another factor: it hates torque, and TT riding is torquey spin. 

So, some tests before actually racing:

Swim: Can I actually remember how to swim crawl at all?    If I can, can I get back to the required 20 lengths without puking up a lung?  Get in the pool and JFDI.

Bike: Does riding hard hurt?  And more importantly, does the hurt matter?  Through LEJOG there was plenty of hurt, but ample ibuprofen meant it shut up an went away; also the first ten miles hurt worst, so a warmup may be indicated. Torque hurts more but if it's just a rubbish signal from complaining gristle, I can pill and tune it out to a degree.  Get the road bike fettled and hammer some commutes.  Do Science on it.

Run: Can I actually run?  Apparently yes I can -- if I can do 20 minutes now, I can do the 30-35 that Burhnam's sandy 5k offers, on race-day when the gumption is high.  Cardio effort is extreme though, and my feet and calves are like "wat?".  Test passed, though it's going to be ugly.